Sunday, April 22, 2012

Craving Nothing


I am not a hoarder. Excess possessions have never been my problem. I learned to keep only what I love and use in my twenties, and feel only a happy sense of lightness when taking a digital snapshot of a one-time treasured pair of suede boots that no longer excite me, before donating or selling them on Ebay.

But lately, something is happening to me. I crave nothing.


An amateur collage-artist for years, it's not that I now want stark white walls, exactly. It is more a high-level sense of peace and tranquility that is impossible in a space with too much. But what exactly is too much? It may be when you feel you have no space for something new to come in. (Like when somebody calls you with a problem and you react with exasperation because you cannot handle one more thing, your plate being so full.)

I think this sick craving means I've become a hoarder of ideas. The very ideas that seem to spout from my throat with almost no prodding and that I've always felt so proud of, hence my business' name: The Idea Shop Productions.

But these days, I have too many books waiting to be read, movies to watch, things to think about. Not enough time to think nothing. It's gotten so bad, that too much color, or too many things in my view make me antsy. It all makes me think. It all makes me come up with ideas for more things to do, projects to plan, thoughts to organize. 

And so before I did something that would make many of my friends happy, but that I might regret later, I woke up early yesterday and emptied an already not-too-full closet, cleaned it, and loaded it with my life: all my art, every single nick-knack, every candle, the vase here, that tray there, all of it went into my hallway closet, where it sits, stacked or packed neatly away, free of dust, set to wait patiently until my mind clears. (I do love my things, after all, and am sure an impromptu yard sale would have been a bad idea in the long run.)

I will report the results of my experiment in a week, but I can tell you that already I feel calmer, and that after rearranging what yesterday felt like the bare minimum I could live with, I woke up today not missing any of it, and wanting to figure out how to do with even less. Could there be a huge yard sale in my future?

8 comments:

  1. Creo que es maravilloso poder vivir al lado de una mujer que siempre es nueva, que su renovación te obliga a no quedarte atrás...a veces mi mente conservadora se rehúsa al cambio pero terminas arrastrándome contigo.
    ....Avísame si se da el "yard sale" para comprártelo todo.....

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  2. Just looking at the picture above with so much white, makes me feel calmer. But I have to admit I do "crave" a space like that.

    Much success with your experiment!

    And thanks, always, for the inspiration.

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  3. Me identifico totalmente contigo. Creo que hacemos mucho, pensamos mucho, organizamos demasiado y no nos damos tiempo para no hacer nada. No podemos apagar el cerebro ni un ratito, y eso agota. Coincido con Raquel, al ver la foto de ese cuarto minimalista ansio algo así, un cuarto blanco, paz y mucho tiempo para disfrutarla.

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  4. Gracias, Silvia y Raquel. Son mis primeros comentarios en este blog que recién comienzo y si logro conectar con ustedes un poquito más de lo que logro hacerlo normalmente, entonces, ya es todo un éxito. ¡Seguimos entonces! Y sobre el "yard sale", pues, como ven, ya tengo un cliente gordo. :) Cariños, Anja

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